to my dearest friends...

Dear friends,

I appreciate so much all your concern for me. Sometimes things change and there is nothing you can do about it except to move on or allow life to mow you over.

Ever had the feeling you wanted to turn back time because there is a certain point in life where a seemingly small thing happened and you end up turning up another lane you did not want to land up at. Sometimes, we are at cross junctions of our life and then you really have to stop and think where you would like to turn at that point. It is moment like this, you seemingly have more choices to decide how your life might head, although, the bustling traffic at the junction would have make it more terrifying but having to chose is clear and consequences more easily imagined. But after you have crossed that road, life becomes a one way street and there is only one way you can go: forward. But of course there are times when paths that separated at the junction or never met before the junction, would cross for the first time or maybe once again. But the key is to move forward and to understand how wrong turns were made and how to avoid making them.

I am a lousy map reader...I walk and may end up where I might not intend to in the first place. In this way, life have thrown up little surprises for me, some ended up shaping my life and some simply remained as little things that happened in my life. But due to this, I have also made mistakes and taken a wrong direction something that I might not have foresee ... but today the sun shines again, mistakes made must be learnt since time cannot be turned back... I will only become stronger and know more about how to do something better the next time round...

In our world of evolution and the linear irreversibility of history and time, change is a big part of our life. There are some human beings who can deal with changes very well, some who embrace changes for all the enrichment it brings to their soul and experience and there are some who wants to be the same as much as possible. There is no saying what is right or wrong though as young people we are tending to not want to stay the same but to experience as much as the world will offer us. I think what is important not only in this issue is that there has to be moderation. One seeks changes but there must be consistency in their life, a certain something that can tie down (not in the bad sense) and give meaning to our existence. I am happy for all who have found it and especially those who have found this consistency to be love.

I love changes, because I do not like to be the same, but to be different every time that I can. Even in my choice of junior college, the key reason was that I did not want to be in the same environment as before as I felt that it would have been quite stifling... and having chosen that path, life threw me a pleasant gift, of friends that grew together, shared together and had the most wonderful conversations. And because of this, I wanted to study overseas, we all did though not all of us managed but I think it was great that some of us had the chance. So change is a big part of my life, in a way I have not noticed before until I typed this today and saw how some things I did was because I wanted to change my own status quo. But as I have said, I also needed a consistency and this has taken the form of my friends and family.

Today, I had an interview, with the Krakow Polish Language School to perhaps be an English instructor over here... I am still making a decision as to whether I take their offer (yep, happily they offered me a place), there are other things that I may want to do and will clash with this but may give me more chances. That is I am waiting to see if I could get a scholarship to study my masters in Rotterdam, Netherlands. I do not know what kind of chances I may have but I would just like to try. Possibilities make me smile again after a long time. I am at the junction right now and about to cross the road....

Gek