Oh by the way Chips, I loved that book! Most riveting I say. I'm a big fan of Coelho.
Haha, can I add some more things that makes me smile? I've observed more things today.....Hee..Here goes ... .
1. My silly Yoda
2. The healthy feeling after a good workout
3. Handsome dudes who smile at me *laff*
4. Coffee made using those sooty looking bags from childhood
5. Singing karaoke to songs that have funny mtvs
6. Buying many pretty things
7. Dancing crazily
8. Eating really sinful chocolates
9. Taking photoes (have to smile right?)
10. Passionate kissers (yeah fishy!)
KNow what I do when I am upset or stressed? I go for a haircut!
Get a new look, get a grip, get it over.
Ten things that p*** me off...
1. Wet toilets
2. Slippery pavements
3. Pp who are too full of themselves
4. Feeling broke
5. Waiting for buses and cabs and most other things
6. Latecomers who don't give advance warning
7. Anything that stains my clothes or possessions
8. Bad health
9. Negative people
10. TSk-ers
11. Routine
12. Using the computer with all lights off (exactly what I am doing now...sigh....ask me why next time)
Anytime Dolphin has swum off. She sends her regards and missing.
Let's update the blog to keep her in the loop yeah?
Thursday, June 30, 2005
a passage from a book
it strucked me how true this was and how I have never really thought in this way; or maybe I had but that I never had this ability to put what I feel into words -
"...freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.
And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.
...In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.
It hurt when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with. Now though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.
This is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."
Paulo Coelho in "Eleven Minutes"
"...freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.
And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.
...In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.
It hurt when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with. Now though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone.
This is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."
Paulo Coelho in "Eleven Minutes"
my list of ten things
as we have spoke in the cafe yesterday, we thought to come up with a list of ten things that makes us smile/happy...I was about to write something last night but horrors! I had a huge huge writer's block.
I don't know if it is the hot and humid weather here or the books I have been reading...
But here goes
Things that make me smile:
1. Looking out at a sky full of twinkling stars when all around is slient
2. Hugs from people who care
3. Someone playing my favourite song on the guitar
4. Lying down on soft green grass on a summer day
5. Knowing that you have made someone else happy
6. Doing crazy things like rolling on the grass, walking in the rain without caring if ' adults dun do things like that'
7. Seeing others do these crazy things
8. Remembering the sweet stuff that Terry has done for me
9. Walking barefoot
10. Suddenly keeping quiet and hearing the chirping of birds in the distant (usually when u are out in the nature, this happens)
I don't know if it is the hot and humid weather here or the books I have been reading...
But here goes
Things that make me smile:
1. Looking out at a sky full of twinkling stars when all around is slient
2. Hugs from people who care
3. Someone playing my favourite song on the guitar
4. Lying down on soft green grass on a summer day
5. Knowing that you have made someone else happy
6. Doing crazy things like rolling on the grass, walking in the rain without caring if ' adults dun do things like that'
7. Seeing others do these crazy things
8. Remembering the sweet stuff that Terry has done for me
9. Walking barefoot
10. Suddenly keeping quiet and hearing the chirping of birds in the distant (usually when u are out in the nature, this happens)
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
teN tHinGs ThaT MaKe mE sMiLE
1. Seeing clouds in hues of pink and orange in the morning
2. Reading a card written from the heart
3. Getting unexpected breezes while standing in the middle of many tall buildings
4. Feeling the cold chilly air after a good rain
5. Seeing and smelling fresh flowers
6. Reading a sweet story
7. Seeing old photoes
8. Experiencing kindness
9. Sensing the innocence of a child
10. Getting a good hug
2. Reading a card written from the heart
3. Getting unexpected breezes while standing in the middle of many tall buildings
4. Feeling the cold chilly air after a good rain
5. Seeing and smelling fresh flowers
6. Reading a sweet story
7. Seeing old photoes
8. Experiencing kindness
9. Sensing the innocence of a child
10. Getting a good hug
about dancing in the rain
why is it that everytime it rains, people run for shelter or dig furiously for their handy little umbrellas?
we never really question about the things that we do and take for granted to be so natural.
when it rains, hide.
why not come dance with me in the rain?
we never really question about the things that we do and take for granted to be so natural.
when it rains, hide.
why not come dance with me in the rain?
Saturday, June 25, 2005
The morning after
Want to know what's in the mind of a virgin hangover-er? Here it is..
1. How come I violate my principle of not getting drunk? Who was i with? No colleagues I hope. Ah hah..the girls....thank goodness Did I thank the girls for sending me home? *opps...think i didn't*
2. Did I change ? *oh thank goodness I did*
3. Did I remove my make-up??? *till now I'm not too sure*
4. What time is it? Let it not be noon, let it not be noon....the weekend's too short to sleep it away. *thank goodness it's 830am, freak, what's wrong with me??*
5. How come I am down so fast??? That's way below my personal record *recalled the girls saying sthg abt not dancing it away during my stupor, think they were trying to count how many I took*
6. Did I take out my contacts ??????? *yes, thankfully though I din think I was sober enough to*
Haha...i din even think of the accent till you mention it girl... hahah but i thought it was quite funny then..... and the funnier thing is that I couldnt stop it from coming out. Shucks....I think I missed out some of the action.... .what secrets...i don't remember any....boo hooo..... you must let me in tonight.....
1. How come I violate my principle of not getting drunk? Who was i with? No colleagues I hope. Ah hah..the girls....thank goodness Did I thank the girls for sending me home? *opps...think i didn't*
2. Did I change ? *oh thank goodness I did*
3. Did I remove my make-up??? *till now I'm not too sure*
4. What time is it? Let it not be noon, let it not be noon....the weekend's too short to sleep it away. *thank goodness it's 830am, freak, what's wrong with me??*
5. How come I am down so fast??? That's way below my personal record *recalled the girls saying sthg abt not dancing it away during my stupor, think they were trying to count how many I took*
6. Did I take out my contacts ??????? *yes, thankfully though I din think I was sober enough to*
Haha...i din even think of the accent till you mention it girl... hahah but i thought it was quite funny then..... and the funnier thing is that I couldnt stop it from coming out. Shucks....I think I missed out some of the action.... .what secrets...i don't remember any....boo hooo..... you must let me in tonight.....
Thursday, June 23, 2005
self esteem
Today I learn about service and challenges. One of the principles is to boost customer's self esteem, for instance by paying sincere compliments and making them feel good about themselves.
Perhaps the lesson has rubbed off so well, I found myself being very free with my compliments after work. It's not like it's a radical change of personality cox I am already an extrovert at heart. And I am not the type to pay compliments if they are not from the bottom of my heart. I guess the main difference is that today I found myself more unreserved with my compliments. And it was a totally enjoyable experience.
"Nice hair you've got there" , " your service is great", "how did you do your hair? looks so styled" are some of my exchange with different salespersons at PS. The overall experience was fantastic for I felt great seeing and knowing that they were very pleased as well. More importantly, I know these are compliments from the heart. It might be retail therapy that had put me in a good temper as well. Whatever it is, all I wanna share is that sincere compliments are wonderful day-makers.
Be generous, be spontaneous, be free with them ... and importantly, be sincere. Enjoy!
Perhaps the lesson has rubbed off so well, I found myself being very free with my compliments after work. It's not like it's a radical change of personality cox I am already an extrovert at heart. And I am not the type to pay compliments if they are not from the bottom of my heart. I guess the main difference is that today I found myself more unreserved with my compliments. And it was a totally enjoyable experience.
"Nice hair you've got there" , " your service is great", "how did you do your hair? looks so styled" are some of my exchange with different salespersons at PS. The overall experience was fantastic for I felt great seeing and knowing that they were very pleased as well. More importantly, I know these are compliments from the heart. It might be retail therapy that had put me in a good temper as well. Whatever it is, all I wanna share is that sincere compliments are wonderful day-makers.
Be generous, be spontaneous, be free with them ... and importantly, be sincere. Enjoy!
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Ithaca
When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fiercePoseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your heart does not set themup before you.
Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purhcase fine mechandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds
as many sensual perfumes of you can;
visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and learn from scholars.
Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old.
rich with all you have gained on your way,
not expecting Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must have already understood what Ithacas mean.
Constantine Cavafy quoted by Coelho, Paulo in the " The Zahir"
i once found love across a room
Chun's post brought back some nice memories...because once i did - fell in love across a room... to be exact, love found me from across the room.
I believe in love at first sight because it happened to me before. A simple conversation at the right moment in time brought two people together on their first days in a foreign country. Because at that time they were meant to be:
" Hello. My name is XX. How about u?"
I believe in love at first sight because it happened to me before. A simple conversation at the right moment in time brought two people together on their first days in a foreign country. Because at that time they were meant to be:
" Hello. My name is XX. How about u?"
Happiness can be a phone call away (crappy title)
Just received a phone call from his guy in Zurich. He's was actually the HR Director who recruited me ... and have i ever told you that he was the cutest guy i've met in UBS?! All i could remember after my first interview with him was, he's got nice blue eyes...aniway, he's got a cute name too..THIS , yes and that's his name :)
So, i just told him that i'll be going to Zurich soon and then he suggested that we can go out for drinks and catch up after work.
That's the little thing that brightened my day before Ms Peahen spoils it again. aniway, heck, it's 6 and i'm going home.
So, i just told him that i'll be going to Zurich soon and then he suggested that we can go out for drinks and catch up after work.
That's the little thing that brightened my day before Ms Peahen spoils it again. aniway, heck, it's 6 and i'm going home.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
forgetting
Perhaps it was not sheer forgetfulness that propelled many in history to repeat history. I think some might have recalled history but actively choose to ignore it, either cox they are blinded by temptations, ambitions or hatred, or feel that lightning seldom strike twice.
To a certain extent, I think big or bad events are seldom forgotten. Forgetting only appears to have taken place when there is a conscious attempt to put them away. To quote the tsunami disaster for again, I think few survivors would ever really forget the trauma of losing their loved ones and what they have built up. But I believe it was due to their sheer will and strength that allowed them to make a conscious effort to put the past aside, and work towards rebuilding their lives. Note I use the word "aside" instead of "behind" cox I believe these things never get forgetten. At least not in their lifetime. Perhaps burying the memories somewhere makes them fainter but they are always there. Perhaps future governments might appear to have forgotten (for instance, they do nothing about putting in measures to mitigate impact of such events) but that might be political myopia rather than amnesia.
Forgetting bad things can be a function of strength and also a function of denial. Whichever it is, it is mostly a choice.
On the other hand, true forgetfulness is a condition in which we try but fail to recollect. Hence, to me, this lack of choice can only be a bane.
To a certain extent, I think big or bad events are seldom forgotten. Forgetting only appears to have taken place when there is a conscious attempt to put them away. To quote the tsunami disaster for again, I think few survivors would ever really forget the trauma of losing their loved ones and what they have built up. But I believe it was due to their sheer will and strength that allowed them to make a conscious effort to put the past aside, and work towards rebuilding their lives. Note I use the word "aside" instead of "behind" cox I believe these things never get forgetten. At least not in their lifetime. Perhaps burying the memories somewhere makes them fainter but they are always there. Perhaps future governments might appear to have forgotten (for instance, they do nothing about putting in measures to mitigate impact of such events) but that might be political myopia rather than amnesia.
Forgetting bad things can be a function of strength and also a function of denial. Whichever it is, it is mostly a choice.
On the other hand, true forgetfulness is a condition in which we try but fail to recollect. Hence, to me, this lack of choice can only be a bane.
Auschwitz.
Before I begin on what's my mind on this late summer night after a good drink or two (or three) of beer, I will just like to say hi to Kenneth and for sharing his views. I will like to read through it once again when I am more sober. =)
Just before I go to bed, I would just like to share that tomorrow I will go to Auschwitz. Unlike many who put it on their to see list when they visit Poland, I hesitate much about going there cos I was afraid of what it will make me feel...of facing the sheer display of humanity's capability of inflicting fear, pain and hurt on people that are about the same as them if not for the society's tendency to put us all into neat little boxes called race, religion etc.
Someone once told me that there is simply too much done and said about the pain of the Jewish people. In a sense that is right because there is so much more sadness in the world that many of us in developed countries do not see unless the media decides to tell that story to us and the story of the Jewish people is just one of these terrible stories. Thus, in our ability to feel greatly for the Jews terrible fate; we might not feel so much or even know about the sufferings of many others in the world ( in a strange sense, what i mean is that these Jewish stories take up too much space in history- i know this is so controversial and politically incorrect but trying to be politically correct all the time will only end one up living a life of what others want to hear and see of us) Our perceptions are shaped much by what the media has to say. What will make us feel sad, what matters, what is in fashion etc...
But in other sense, I do not think it is right to say that. Cos these people have seriously suffered and lessons of their pain will hopefully help the world in the future learn to do or not to do something. But of course the most important lessons are often forgotten.
The human mind is sometimes so forgetful... we forget easily about history and thus end up stumbling on the same rocks over and over again. But because we are forgetful, we as a race can survive and move on. What strikes me most after the tsunami incident was that in a while's time, people in our world will soon relegate that disaster to the back of their lives; even those who have just manage to escape the calamity- those who will survive are those who can forget and move on...
in a sense forgetfulness is both a bane and blessing to the human condition...
Just before I go to bed, I would just like to share that tomorrow I will go to Auschwitz. Unlike many who put it on their to see list when they visit Poland, I hesitate much about going there cos I was afraid of what it will make me feel...of facing the sheer display of humanity's capability of inflicting fear, pain and hurt on people that are about the same as them if not for the society's tendency to put us all into neat little boxes called race, religion etc.
Someone once told me that there is simply too much done and said about the pain of the Jewish people. In a sense that is right because there is so much more sadness in the world that many of us in developed countries do not see unless the media decides to tell that story to us and the story of the Jewish people is just one of these terrible stories. Thus, in our ability to feel greatly for the Jews terrible fate; we might not feel so much or even know about the sufferings of many others in the world ( in a strange sense, what i mean is that these Jewish stories take up too much space in history- i know this is so controversial and politically incorrect but trying to be politically correct all the time will only end one up living a life of what others want to hear and see of us) Our perceptions are shaped much by what the media has to say. What will make us feel sad, what matters, what is in fashion etc...
But in other sense, I do not think it is right to say that. Cos these people have seriously suffered and lessons of their pain will hopefully help the world in the future learn to do or not to do something. But of course the most important lessons are often forgotten.
The human mind is sometimes so forgetful... we forget easily about history and thus end up stumbling on the same rocks over and over again. But because we are forgetful, we as a race can survive and move on. What strikes me most after the tsunami incident was that in a while's time, people in our world will soon relegate that disaster to the back of their lives; even those who have just manage to escape the calamity- those who will survive are those who can forget and move on...
in a sense forgetfulness is both a bane and blessing to the human condition...
Monday, June 20, 2005
Smile
As with every day, I try to find something to smile at. Today, I smiled when I know my friends are there to lend a helping hand when I needed it. And on my way home, I smiled when I caught the sweet scent of flowers placed at the entrance of a newly opened shop.
Yesh, despite the lack of creative juices for my work these few days, I manage to find something to smile about =)
My colleague told me " you have a boyfriend? Good...good that you have. Cox I don't think I would ever get married if I wasn't attached when I started working here. " Kind and sincere advice. Something to smile about.
I can find a million things to frown upon and to whine about. But at the end of the day, these negative forces just makes your day unbearable. I've met people, brilliant and all, but yet I shunned their company as far as possible. Why? Simply cox they reeked too much of cynism and negativity. These things spread like flu viruses and IMHO, should be avoided as much as possible.
Maybe sometimes life ain't so hard. It's only as hard as you it to be.
Yesh, despite the lack of creative juices for my work these few days, I manage to find something to smile about =)
My colleague told me " you have a boyfriend? Good...good that you have. Cox I don't think I would ever get married if I wasn't attached when I started working here. " Kind and sincere advice. Something to smile about.
I can find a million things to frown upon and to whine about. But at the end of the day, these negative forces just makes your day unbearable. I've met people, brilliant and all, but yet I shunned their company as far as possible. Why? Simply cox they reeked too much of cynism and negativity. These things spread like flu viruses and IMHO, should be avoided as much as possible.
Maybe sometimes life ain't so hard. It's only as hard as you it to be.
Learning...
its been a long time since I learnt about things that matter to me as a person... For the longest time in my fourth year, I was caught up with getting the best grades...
I think it was the last strive to make something out of my university life in the way that Singaporeans only know how to - to be the best measuring only by the insitutional recognition that we get...in other words, how many As we have. So there I was the master of differentiation; of telling u what is the most optimal choice in a question that was hardly reflective of reality. Yet I know nothing about the philospohical strands of economic thought and I have never read the original text of Adam Smith nor Karl Marx (okay I did try and read one of the books by Karl Marx but was too busy with work..excuses, excuses).
I am not saying that all these technical knowledge are not important but the true nature of learning was simply lost on me while I pursued that all important Dean's List and As... I was becoming the very people that I did not want to be like! Far away in the deep recesses of my memory, I recalled the vague image of a girl who had wanted to take certain courses just because it interests her and the girl who was extremely irked by those who said they did this course and that course because it was easy to score.
Thus, I have learnt about theatre, enjoyed my french lessons, discussed about various cultures in anthropology classes, watched plenty of old classics in film classes and contemplate about God in Theology classes. And then suddenly fourth year came and I was counting the CAP points needed to make it to the Dean's List again.
Sure in the end, I got the degree I wanted but this senseless fight have left me a very empty person...but I also could understand this had to be so...I do not regret that I went through that but am glad that I knew that something was wrong...
I am almost 23 years and there is so much about the world that I do not know... it is not a regret but a desire to do something about it.
I think it was the last strive to make something out of my university life in the way that Singaporeans only know how to - to be the best measuring only by the insitutional recognition that we get...in other words, how many As we have. So there I was the master of differentiation; of telling u what is the most optimal choice in a question that was hardly reflective of reality. Yet I know nothing about the philospohical strands of economic thought and I have never read the original text of Adam Smith nor Karl Marx (okay I did try and read one of the books by Karl Marx but was too busy with work..excuses, excuses).
I am not saying that all these technical knowledge are not important but the true nature of learning was simply lost on me while I pursued that all important Dean's List and As... I was becoming the very people that I did not want to be like! Far away in the deep recesses of my memory, I recalled the vague image of a girl who had wanted to take certain courses just because it interests her and the girl who was extremely irked by those who said they did this course and that course because it was easy to score.
Thus, I have learnt about theatre, enjoyed my french lessons, discussed about various cultures in anthropology classes, watched plenty of old classics in film classes and contemplate about God in Theology classes. And then suddenly fourth year came and I was counting the CAP points needed to make it to the Dean's List again.
Sure in the end, I got the degree I wanted but this senseless fight have left me a very empty person...but I also could understand this had to be so...I do not regret that I went through that but am glad that I knew that something was wrong...
I am almost 23 years and there is so much about the world that I do not know... it is not a regret but a desire to do something about it.
monday blues
Workplace makes you a hypocrite?
I have got a training at 10.15, just as I'm about to go, my colleague just informed me that she's going for the training so is my boss, so i have to stay behind.
Ok, for the benefit of my clients, i have to stay. Then she came back, saying that the training was good, i should go. I answered," I actually signed up for the session just now, but never mind, I'll go for the session in the afternoon" . And I gave her the sweetest smile ever.
What F***, y should i always be the one covering u?!?
Sometimes, I get quite pissed off with people who throw their weight around. They think that they are more experienced than you then they'll expect you to listen and accommodate to them. I hate the workplace! Even if I very very angry, I can't flare up.... oh well, might as well master the skill of "poker face" ... think I’m getting better at it.
So much to start a Monday, yuckS!!
I have got a training at 10.15, just as I'm about to go, my colleague just informed me that she's going for the training so is my boss, so i have to stay behind.
Ok, for the benefit of my clients, i have to stay. Then she came back, saying that the training was good, i should go. I answered," I actually signed up for the session just now, but never mind, I'll go for the session in the afternoon" . And I gave her the sweetest smile ever.
What F***, y should i always be the one covering u?!?
Sometimes, I get quite pissed off with people who throw their weight around. They think that they are more experienced than you then they'll expect you to listen and accommodate to them. I hate the workplace! Even if I very very angry, I can't flare up.... oh well, might as well master the skill of "poker face" ... think I’m getting better at it.
So much to start a Monday, yuckS!!
Sunday, June 19, 2005
STFU
Anybody knows wat STFU means?
Jene, u say u are good with acronyms right? hee see if u can get this right haha.
Jene, u say u are good with acronyms right? hee see if u can get this right haha.
sunny afternoon, great book and an even upper body tan
I couldn´t put down this book that I am reading during my trip... its the latest by Paulo Coelho and it is called ` The Zahir´. As any Paulo Coelho book goes it has much little wisdoms about life.
Today, I visited the Lake District of Salzkammergut. I was at St. Gilgen where Mozart´s mother was born. Seriously this place seems to be making too much money from using Mozart´s name...=p Quite beautiful and quaint (the lake and village that is not his mother hee).
Making my way back to Krakow again and to reach there in the wee hours of 0533H...whew it is going to be a long train ride back...thankfully my book will keep me pretty much occupied.
Today, I visited the Lake District of Salzkammergut. I was at St. Gilgen where Mozart´s mother was born. Seriously this place seems to be making too much money from using Mozart´s name...=p Quite beautiful and quaint (the lake and village that is not his mother hee).
Making my way back to Krakow again and to reach there in the wee hours of 0533H...whew it is going to be a long train ride back...thankfully my book will keep me pretty much occupied.
ice caves...brrr
Today I made a trip to the ice caves...real fasinating things they were... but i was also very tired from all the climbing and walking and freezing... i took many photos to prove how cold it was and also many high paranomic shots to prove how much i have walked...haha
The scenery was really beautiful and a good geography lesson as well.- valley, meandering rivers etc etc... I always had a strong impression of physical geography from secondary school as I loved making those figures and pictures of how volcanoes are formed etc.
Tell u guys more then next time round!
The scenery was really beautiful and a good geography lesson as well.- valley, meandering rivers etc etc... I always had a strong impression of physical geography from secondary school as I loved making those figures and pictures of how volcanoes are formed etc.
Tell u guys more then next time round!
Saturday, June 18, 2005
General Observations
Wonder if anyone has felt like a second class friend before?
Case in point: Like when a friend obviously prioritizes her boyfriend over you (I mean of course, BF is very important but there is no need to be obvious about it), and shows it.
This afternoon I called a friend out for a movie. We have just agreed on a time and venue when she dropped me a message to say that her boyfriend had a change of plans and she was now going to meet him instead.
A seemingly small issue I guess, but this seems to be the general attitude and I am beginning to get sick of it. When we were studying in school, whether we can go for dinner depends on whether BF wants to have dinner together, if BF wants to have dinner together then she will be meeting BF for dinner instead. Then she proceeds to wait for BF to call her.
I feel shitty that I cannot be more understanding about her priorities (after all, everyone is entitled to handle things differently, incluing friends), but I feel that people who do not value your friendship do not deserve your friendship as much. Maybe I am just being unreasonable and demanding. Maybe when Ed comes back I will again begin to see how important it is to spend time with your BF, or maybe I should simply be more broad minded...
Oh well.
Case in point: Like when a friend obviously prioritizes her boyfriend over you (I mean of course, BF is very important but there is no need to be obvious about it), and shows it.
This afternoon I called a friend out for a movie. We have just agreed on a time and venue when she dropped me a message to say that her boyfriend had a change of plans and she was now going to meet him instead.
A seemingly small issue I guess, but this seems to be the general attitude and I am beginning to get sick of it. When we were studying in school, whether we can go for dinner depends on whether BF wants to have dinner together, if BF wants to have dinner together then she will be meeting BF for dinner instead. Then she proceeds to wait for BF to call her.
I feel shitty that I cannot be more understanding about her priorities (after all, everyone is entitled to handle things differently, incluing friends), but I feel that people who do not value your friendship do not deserve your friendship as much. Maybe I am just being unreasonable and demanding. Maybe when Ed comes back I will again begin to see how important it is to spend time with your BF, or maybe I should simply be more broad minded...
Oh well.
thoughts by the Salzach river
Sometimes life can be lived simply without always having to do important things and being an important person. TodayI sat by the banks of the Salzach River and allow the beauty of Salzburg capture me and the gently flowing river quench my thirsty soul.
Being by myself in a beautiful place always gives me inspiration. Inspiration not of artistic greatness but that inspiration for life, beauty, love and words to make myself understood. A simple and innocent sort of inspiration that exists in everyone who takes a moment and really see and appreciate the wholeness of life and him or herself, thinking not of him or herself but just being.
Today as I walked by the bridge, there was a Hispanic man playing the harp. What wonderful things this man can do - working wonders with his fingers that glide so gracefully across the strings. Wonder beacause of what his music brought to the people around him. A sort of music that made them glad and their day a better one. I smile and were joyful...
Being by myself in a beautiful place always gives me inspiration. Inspiration not of artistic greatness but that inspiration for life, beauty, love and words to make myself understood. A simple and innocent sort of inspiration that exists in everyone who takes a moment and really see and appreciate the wholeness of life and him or herself, thinking not of him or herself but just being.
Today as I walked by the bridge, there was a Hispanic man playing the harp. What wonderful things this man can do - working wonders with his fingers that glide so gracefully across the strings. Wonder beacause of what his music brought to the people around him. A sort of music that made them glad and their day a better one. I smile and were joyful...
Friday, June 17, 2005
All the beautiful things in the world cant beat friends like ya!
Dear Chun,
Even though I have only read the song from the computer screen, I could hear ur lovely voice in my heart...thank you so much for everything...just being here for me.
I really appreciate you guys and that I am so blessed to have you all here for me....
love, gek
Even though I have only read the song from the computer screen, I could hear ur lovely voice in my heart...thank you so much for everything...just being here for me.
I really appreciate you guys and that I am so blessed to have you all here for me....
love, gek
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
nice dinner, good conversation + next stop vienna
i am gonna catch a train at 0700H and now it is 0027H and I really should catch some sleep. There is something that I really wanted to say so I think I will forego a few minutes of my sleep to say whatever I was thinking of blogging. Writing has been therapeutic and being able to share my thoughs and feelings with people who care is a blessing.
I was having a nice dinner , with live classical music , great company and I had a strange moment. Suddenly everything became so clear to me... the feeling was bitter sweet but nevertheless a feeling of clarity and a sense of peace... I understood why things turn out this way and I understood how some things could have been handled properly and I understood my weakness for not being expressing myself well in words that may have caused much misunderstanding...and I understood him a lot more ...amazingly it all dawn onto me at that moment...
I am moving on ,I can feel it...sad to leave this romance behind but still wanting to move on, knowing what has been done wrongly and knowing that in the future, I will do it better and the love that I will be able to experience then would be much more beautiful. As all my dear friends will know and have seen and probably felt, that I have never been so madly in love with someone.
Beautiful memories are mine for keeps, while it brings a smile to my heart, it also pierces deep as well...
I was having a nice dinner , with live classical music , great company and I had a strange moment. Suddenly everything became so clear to me... the feeling was bitter sweet but nevertheless a feeling of clarity and a sense of peace... I understood why things turn out this way and I understood how some things could have been handled properly and I understood my weakness for not being expressing myself well in words that may have caused much misunderstanding...and I understood him a lot more ...amazingly it all dawn onto me at that moment...
I am moving on ,I can feel it...sad to leave this romance behind but still wanting to move on, knowing what has been done wrongly and knowing that in the future, I will do it better and the love that I will be able to experience then would be much more beautiful. As all my dear friends will know and have seen and probably felt, that I have never been so madly in love with someone.
Beautiful memories are mine for keeps, while it brings a smile to my heart, it also pierces deep as well...
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
to my dearest friends...
Dear friends,
I appreciate so much all your concern for me. Sometimes things change and there is nothing you can do about it except to move on or allow life to mow you over.
Ever had the feeling you wanted to turn back time because there is a certain point in life where a seemingly small thing happened and you end up turning up another lane you did not want to land up at. Sometimes, we are at cross junctions of our life and then you really have to stop and think where you would like to turn at that point. It is moment like this, you seemingly have more choices to decide how your life might head, although, the bustling traffic at the junction would have make it more terrifying but having to chose is clear and consequences more easily imagined. But after you have crossed that road, life becomes a one way street and there is only one way you can go: forward. But of course there are times when paths that separated at the junction or never met before the junction, would cross for the first time or maybe once again. But the key is to move forward and to understand how wrong turns were made and how to avoid making them.
I am a lousy map reader...I walk and may end up where I might not intend to in the first place. In this way, life have thrown up little surprises for me, some ended up shaping my life and some simply remained as little things that happened in my life. But due to this, I have also made mistakes and taken a wrong direction something that I might not have foresee ... but today the sun shines again, mistakes made must be learnt since time cannot be turned back... I will only become stronger and know more about how to do something better the next time round...
In our world of evolution and the linear irreversibility of history and time, change is a big part of our life. There are some human beings who can deal with changes very well, some who embrace changes for all the enrichment it brings to their soul and experience and there are some who wants to be the same as much as possible. There is no saying what is right or wrong though as young people we are tending to not want to stay the same but to experience as much as the world will offer us. I think what is important not only in this issue is that there has to be moderation. One seeks changes but there must be consistency in their life, a certain something that can tie down (not in the bad sense) and give meaning to our existence. I am happy for all who have found it and especially those who have found this consistency to be love.
I love changes, because I do not like to be the same, but to be different every time that I can. Even in my choice of junior college, the key reason was that I did not want to be in the same environment as before as I felt that it would have been quite stifling... and having chosen that path, life threw me a pleasant gift, of friends that grew together, shared together and had the most wonderful conversations. And because of this, I wanted to study overseas, we all did though not all of us managed but I think it was great that some of us had the chance. So change is a big part of my life, in a way I have not noticed before until I typed this today and saw how some things I did was because I wanted to change my own status quo. But as I have said, I also needed a consistency and this has taken the form of my friends and family.
Today, I had an interview, with the Krakow Polish Language School to perhaps be an English instructor over here... I am still making a decision as to whether I take their offer (yep, happily they offered me a place), there are other things that I may want to do and will clash with this but may give me more chances. That is I am waiting to see if I could get a scholarship to study my masters in Rotterdam, Netherlands. I do not know what kind of chances I may have but I would just like to try. Possibilities make me smile again after a long time. I am at the junction right now and about to cross the road....
Gek
I appreciate so much all your concern for me. Sometimes things change and there is nothing you can do about it except to move on or allow life to mow you over.
Ever had the feeling you wanted to turn back time because there is a certain point in life where a seemingly small thing happened and you end up turning up another lane you did not want to land up at. Sometimes, we are at cross junctions of our life and then you really have to stop and think where you would like to turn at that point. It is moment like this, you seemingly have more choices to decide how your life might head, although, the bustling traffic at the junction would have make it more terrifying but having to chose is clear and consequences more easily imagined. But after you have crossed that road, life becomes a one way street and there is only one way you can go: forward. But of course there are times when paths that separated at the junction or never met before the junction, would cross for the first time or maybe once again. But the key is to move forward and to understand how wrong turns were made and how to avoid making them.
I am a lousy map reader...I walk and may end up where I might not intend to in the first place. In this way, life have thrown up little surprises for me, some ended up shaping my life and some simply remained as little things that happened in my life. But due to this, I have also made mistakes and taken a wrong direction something that I might not have foresee ... but today the sun shines again, mistakes made must be learnt since time cannot be turned back... I will only become stronger and know more about how to do something better the next time round...
In our world of evolution and the linear irreversibility of history and time, change is a big part of our life. There are some human beings who can deal with changes very well, some who embrace changes for all the enrichment it brings to their soul and experience and there are some who wants to be the same as much as possible. There is no saying what is right or wrong though as young people we are tending to not want to stay the same but to experience as much as the world will offer us. I think what is important not only in this issue is that there has to be moderation. One seeks changes but there must be consistency in their life, a certain something that can tie down (not in the bad sense) and give meaning to our existence. I am happy for all who have found it and especially those who have found this consistency to be love.
I love changes, because I do not like to be the same, but to be different every time that I can. Even in my choice of junior college, the key reason was that I did not want to be in the same environment as before as I felt that it would have been quite stifling... and having chosen that path, life threw me a pleasant gift, of friends that grew together, shared together and had the most wonderful conversations. And because of this, I wanted to study overseas, we all did though not all of us managed but I think it was great that some of us had the chance. So change is a big part of my life, in a way I have not noticed before until I typed this today and saw how some things I did was because I wanted to change my own status quo. But as I have said, I also needed a consistency and this has taken the form of my friends and family.
Today, I had an interview, with the Krakow Polish Language School to perhaps be an English instructor over here... I am still making a decision as to whether I take their offer (yep, happily they offered me a place), there are other things that I may want to do and will clash with this but may give me more chances. That is I am waiting to see if I could get a scholarship to study my masters in Rotterdam, Netherlands. I do not know what kind of chances I may have but I would just like to try. Possibilities make me smile again after a long time. I am at the junction right now and about to cross the road....
Gek
Monday, June 13, 2005
today i learn ..
that people should be humble,
even if you know a lot,
or you think you know a lot,
or you think everyone else knows less.
Even Socrates knew he did not know,
So what makes you think you really do?
even if you know a lot,
or you think you know a lot,
or you think everyone else knows less.
Even Socrates knew he did not know,
So what makes you think you really do?
so much to say
there is so much to share with you gals for these two days but as Terry needs the laptop to work on his stuf, i cannot get the chance to use the internet very often...love sharing stuff on the blog especially when I am alone there are so many thoughts in my mind that I wanna tell them to my closest friends...
waiting all this in a haste cos Terry is waiting for the computer...i will kep the thoughts as original to as when I first think of them and try my best to recapture the moments... wish you all were here...I am surviving but barely and sometimes think if it just my own thinking too much...thank god for goodfriends to listen to u...=)
waiting all this in a haste cos Terry is waiting for the computer...i will kep the thoughts as original to as when I first think of them and try my best to recapture the moments... wish you all were here...I am surviving but barely and sometimes think if it just my own thinking too much...thank god for goodfriends to listen to u...=)
Saturday, June 11, 2005
To Krakow
After five hours of solid walking, and seven hours of sound sleep, I feel reborn, recharged...ready to embrace the day and all its surprises... given the time lag, I woke up at 0430H today as I have known I would... outside my hostel is a little pretty courtyard with a small fountain and bright cheery flowers...it is always so nice to come too Europe in the summer even if just because of the flowers... just rows and rows of them like little bright people lined up to sing their national anthem.
Before I go to my next destination, I thought I would give a short introduction of the next place that I would be going to: Krakow
Krakow is the third largest city in Poland and in 1038, it was the capital of Poland's Piast Kings. Reputed to be one of the most beautiful and intact city of Poland, it is a definite must-see. Krakow has been very fortunate in a sense during the second world war and was saved just in time by the Soviet army which forced the Germans to evacute the city before destruction could take place. Thus, most of the old buildings are still very much intact and according to Lonely Planet, Krakow is Poland's only large city that has its old architecture almost intact... (to be continued)
Before I go to my next destination, I thought I would give a short introduction of the next place that I would be going to: Krakow
Krakow is the third largest city in Poland and in 1038, it was the capital of Poland's Piast Kings. Reputed to be one of the most beautiful and intact city of Poland, it is a definite must-see. Krakow has been very fortunate in a sense during the second world war and was saved just in time by the Soviet army which forced the Germans to evacute the city before destruction could take place. Thus, most of the old buildings are still very much intact and according to Lonely Planet, Krakow is Poland's only large city that has its old architecture almost intact... (to be continued)
Warszawa (Warsaw)
Ever had the feeling when you can literally feel your heart smiling....that is such a special feeling and it is this feeling I got when I made my acquitance with dear charming Warszawa and the friendly, charming Polish people.
it all got on a good start: me, a petite Chinese gal carrying a very very big backpack struggling to find my way to the city center and my hostel, eager to start exploring the city. That made my first encounter with the charismatic bus driver with his shinny deep blue eyes, grinning apologetically when the only English he could managed was " Bus 175"... so apparently the hostel had given wrong instructions or maybe it was just some confusion...either or I was directed to bus 175 where on board a lovely old lady was so happy to be able to help me and probably also to practise her English. =) She was a lovely old woman who was not over chatty and not too sullen and she left me her number just in case anything happens...sweet..
The most lovely thing and must visit is the Old Town area...this place was actually badly bombed during the Second World War, (as you will know, Poland suffered greatly in the second war world) and the whole place had actually been painstakingly remade, recreated by the Polish people. and it is amazingly well done...The walls were even slightly blackish and paint slightly cracked...
Steping in that part of Warsaw, I started to enjoy my solitude, the quietness of the cobbled streets and the unexpected turns into quaint alleys, the sunlit Old town Square, I was so happy that I decided to upped my happiness factor by buying myself ice -cream =) Yes, just small things can make me happy sometimes and it brings such delight when you discover them and is able to savour their simplicity and pure beauty. I found myself sitting on the bench obesvering the mannerisms of pigeons and that made me happy as well... finally i felt at peace being by myself and enjoying the small treats of life that somtimes just pass us by and I was glad I was alone such that I can have the slience to listen to the horse shoes clicked on the cobbled stones; feel the sunlight graze my face and smile at every unsuspecting person that walked pass ( and believe me people stared so blantly at me, this lone Chinese gal...else everyone is White)... I love Warszawa... and the next time I hope I will come with good company...sometimes beauty have to be shared and that will only enhance the experience...
it all got on a good start: me, a petite Chinese gal carrying a very very big backpack struggling to find my way to the city center and my hostel, eager to start exploring the city. That made my first encounter with the charismatic bus driver with his shinny deep blue eyes, grinning apologetically when the only English he could managed was " Bus 175"... so apparently the hostel had given wrong instructions or maybe it was just some confusion...either or I was directed to bus 175 where on board a lovely old lady was so happy to be able to help me and probably also to practise her English. =) She was a lovely old woman who was not over chatty and not too sullen and she left me her number just in case anything happens...sweet..
The most lovely thing and must visit is the Old Town area...this place was actually badly bombed during the Second World War, (as you will know, Poland suffered greatly in the second war world) and the whole place had actually been painstakingly remade, recreated by the Polish people. and it is amazingly well done...The walls were even slightly blackish and paint slightly cracked...
Steping in that part of Warsaw, I started to enjoy my solitude, the quietness of the cobbled streets and the unexpected turns into quaint alleys, the sunlit Old town Square, I was so happy that I decided to upped my happiness factor by buying myself ice -cream =) Yes, just small things can make me happy sometimes and it brings such delight when you discover them and is able to savour their simplicity and pure beauty. I found myself sitting on the bench obesvering the mannerisms of pigeons and that made me happy as well... finally i felt at peace being by myself and enjoying the small treats of life that somtimes just pass us by and I was glad I was alone such that I can have the slience to listen to the horse shoes clicked on the cobbled stones; feel the sunlight graze my face and smile at every unsuspecting person that walked pass ( and believe me people stared so blantly at me, this lone Chinese gal...else everyone is White)... I love Warszawa... and the next time I hope I will come with good company...sometimes beauty have to be shared and that will only enhance the experience...
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Managing expectations part 2
Something small and unexpected made my day too. It was just a simple gesture, holding the door for me when I was quite a few steps away. It really made me smile to see such chivalry at 8+ am in the morning and you know it's chivalry in its purest when you see his wife and baby in pram walking on ahead. No other intentions, pure chivalry.
Yeah having no expectations can be a really good thing. This is especially so when having too low expectations can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy and too high expectations almost certainly leading to let-downs and disenchantment. In a nutshell,
Expect too much of yourself and you might stress to death, expect too little and risk not attaining ur full potential.
Expect too much of colleagues and you make a difficult/demanding boss,
expect too little and you end up taking everything upon yourself or ending up with inferior work.
Expect too much of friends/loved ones and you might become too high maintenance or too much of an obligation,
expect too little .. hmm.. no real harm done I guess (assuming friendship/love is supposed to be unconditional)
Yeah having no expectations can be a really good thing. This is especially so when having too low expectations can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy and too high expectations almost certainly leading to let-downs and disenchantment. In a nutshell,
Expect too much of yourself and you might stress to death, expect too little and risk not attaining ur full potential.
Expect too much of colleagues and you make a difficult/demanding boss,
expect too little and you end up taking everything upon yourself or ending up with inferior work.
Expect too much of friends/loved ones and you might become too high maintenance or too much of an obligation,
expect too little .. hmm.. no real harm done I guess (assuming friendship/love is supposed to be unconditional)
Monday, June 06, 2005
getting famous
You know how blogs are getting so big day by day... ordinary people are getting their five minutes share of fame... some were interviewed and others religiously read by friends, stalkers and people who just find these bloggers life worth their five or ten minutes of surf time.
I cant understand the phenomenal...they are even having a blog convention...imagine that...this is how big this blog 'culture' has become.
Then I thought maybe it is time that our blog become famous as well...given that we have no lack of drama ( marriage and diamond rings); action ( girls getting drunk and sloshed; cajoling waiters to get free drinks) and funny anecdote of how shopping is stopping Singaporeans from baby-making etc.
But then again do we really want strangers peering at what we are writing and having to exercise caution cos we know we have an audience to play to... Then we may not be able to indulge in the occasional *&#@ thing in our little side chat bar.
That said, I will not mind if of course we did...
*grinz*
I cant understand the phenomenal...they are even having a blog convention...imagine that...this is how big this blog 'culture' has become.
Then I thought maybe it is time that our blog become famous as well...given that we have no lack of drama ( marriage and diamond rings); action ( girls getting drunk and sloshed; cajoling waiters to get free drinks) and funny anecdote of how shopping is stopping Singaporeans from baby-making etc.
But then again do we really want strangers peering at what we are writing and having to exercise caution cos we know we have an audience to play to... Then we may not be able to indulge in the occasional *&#@ thing in our little side chat bar.
That said, I will not mind if of course we did...
*grinz*
Sunday, June 05, 2005
it's over
Today's my father's birthday and it also marks my long awaited freedom. Finally got the CFA out of mind and out of sight. It's time to party babes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
New Upload of Old Photos
Hihi Galz!
I officially give up on trying to link the page to this blog after like 8-10 tries. So just follow the link on your emails yah.... if anyone knows how to please.... PLEASE enlighten me :)
Finally got down to uploading my old travel pictures and other misc stuffs onto Snapfish. Can go take a look-see if you are bored or interested.. hehe... There should be an invite in your emails.
It has those old Europe photos that I didn't manage to show you properly.
AND...
I officially give up on trying to link the page to this blog after like 8-10 tries. So just follow the link on your emails yah.... if anyone knows how to please.... PLEASE enlighten me :)
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Royally Sloshed
The bane of being newly engaged.
You get accquainted with things with weird names like Flaming Lamborghini, Mojito, Sex on the Beach....... and the WATERFALL.
Waterfalls are BAAAAAD, but
A dash of Mojito to boot makes it doublly so.
Good friends are a godsend,
and puking is HORRRIIIID...... especially if you happen to go at it all night......oh but the bliss of not having a hangover.....
The fear of having your head fall off your neck and start rolling around the floor- that is one experience i will never forget, and having the toilet bowl, the sink, and every wall and couch along the way as your best friend..... well, THAT won't happen again either.
No more Waterfalls for me!!!!!!
You get accquainted with things with weird names like Flaming Lamborghini, Mojito, Sex on the Beach....... and the WATERFALL.
Waterfalls are BAAAAAD, but
A dash of Mojito to boot makes it doublly so.
Good friends are a godsend,
and puking is HORRRIIIID...... especially if you happen to go at it all night......oh but the bliss of not having a hangover.....
The fear of having your head fall off your neck and start rolling around the floor- that is one experience i will never forget, and having the toilet bowl, the sink, and every wall and couch along the way as your best friend..... well, THAT won't happen again either.
No more Waterfalls for me!!!!!!
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