Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Gastric Day

As the title suggests, it's pain all the way from noon to night. The only reason why I am awake is such that I can space out the timing to take my very acidic antibiotics... gosh...and a credit memo stands in between. Somebody save me.

By the way, this means no drinks for me on Friday. Darn. Watched Harry Potter but think it can be quite violent for kids..

Heard this banter on radio, on whether is it inevitable that a relationship will turn from hot to cold at a certain juncture....due to various reasons. yes, the topic is profound, but what tugs the most is that few callers can speak proper chinese... In the 5 min of tuning in, most Rs bcomes Ls..and such .. Hope in such situations,we all can do much better =p

Monday, November 28, 2005

One down, 5 more to go..

yeah it's been a little quiet. Gives me a sense of foreboding whenever this place (the Very Big Fish Tank) is quiet. Makes you feel that eveyone else in into something which you aren't - which may well be true since I have been doing little else but study for the last 3 weeks.

Yesterday was spent fruitfully [wallowing] in my own misery as I tried to cram in some family law and probate - while the whole time there is this little irritating bugger called the wisdon tooth that is dying to burst our of my gums. make that 2 buggers - top and bottom. It has this annoying way of announcing it's arrival [loud and clear] with what feels like a giant ulcer on the inside of my entire right cheek. Or a perpetual tooth ache from having a row of rotting molars on my right jaw.

Coz my gums are sore and swollen, I can't chew properly. And when i try to, the gums have swelled inwards towards where my teeth go, and I end up chewing on myself [yes... ouch. more like, OOOUUUCHH!!!£$%^&*@:>?*&^*!!!!)

Killer paper coming up on Wed, and I should have started studying about, like, an hour ago... so well, more toothache and misery.... ptui!!!

*keeping my fingers crossed for friday*
Ever felt like it’s a contradiction between what goes on outside of you and what goes on inside of you. In a strange way, this has all chosen to hit me on this cold winter/autumn (I have no idea of the season I am in now except that its real rainy and cold) night even though I had taken a cold pill, which was supposed to knock me out like a baby. It is not the cold that is bothering me, the only big qualm I have about it is that it keeps me indoors and hence lays me easy prey to the guilty snacking that I have been indulging in. What prompts me to suddenly on the laptop and share my deepest feelings on such a public arena as a blog I dun really know but I guess this is because I know that the only people that I care about reading this are my this group of special friends and that it did not matter if they saw these cos they know who I am almost through and through and will never judge me for what I feel but instead just allow me to share my inner most thoughts.

Ever since I have been here, I have done things perfectly almost to a brink of eeriness that the fall will be a hard and sound one. For some strange unfathomed reason, everything I did socially was worthy of praise from the people around me. My first presentation went brilliant, I was the only Chinese girl who went out on Friday nights and fitted in, I look great and probably turned a few heads and know that guys in my class wanted to talk to me, I am interesting and interested in classes, people, and hell I even got attention from my basketball game scoring a few times and impressing the guys and gals who kept telling me how good I was. I was so confused by all these that I almost wanted to go to church today because it seems so surreal the way everything fell in place but yet I never felt so detached from the God that has given me much guidance in pretty much a tough time of my life but has now grown so impersonal that I feel a gaping hole somewhere more spiritually. Pardon me for speaking of such things cos I know some of us may not like it but I wanted to be candid here.

Anyway I think there is a bigger problem and that is of the last week before I left for colder pastures here in Rotterdam; the week where perhaps things have been gone and packed away in our heads but also the week that I felt the loniest and most miserable compared to I dun noe when else. This was also the week that I met this guy and how no one probably knew or saw it coming because it pretty much happened between the two of us. And the thing is how it is all in my heart not going to work out because in my head and heart I thank him for being the kind and loving person that he is but that there is something more that I need and want that I cannot fathom anyone to be able to fulfill that. That is selfish isn't it to expect someone to fulfill something for you, and this is very strange because what I really needed someone to fulfill is to make me love the person beyond myself. It is very not easy to be loved but as I have found even more difficult to love.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

okay, i did go out after the frumpy weather cleared up...
painted the town an ugly mess...haha

yea drunk gals do stupid things , now the trick is to act like you cant remember anything...
trust me that will be vital...argh
There’s no inspiration whatsoever to write about anything, anything that matters to be exact. Of course one can write about anything but if it just some simplistic nonsense which I think I am more capable of churning out than anything else, why write?

For this depressive mood, I blame the stupid weather outside. It was a good day today, I had a basketball game with the male and female in my class (not everyone of course cos the class's huge) and I manage to somehow pump some balls into the hoop by some amazing stroke of luck and probably the gallantry of the guys who probably got have blocked me and kick me in the shine or simply tap the ball away from my hands. But anyhow, the game started like all basket game with guys, u felt like Harry Potter wearing his invisible coat running amok on the courts. But as time wears on and the guys on my team realizes that I can catch a ball without breaking my nails and maybe put it someway near the board (or through the hoop) they passed u the ball sometimes. But anyhow, it was a good game, all for more variation in my exercise regime, which consists of cycling, cycling in the rain, cycling in the wind and the most difficult maneuver being to try to get across some stupid puddle without getting my ass spotted with mud drops. Anyhow, despite my grunting here, I am really happy ...except for the crap weather, which is making me feel like forsaking my long-held principle of "no stay-ins" on Friday, ditching that for my newfound literature (The Horse Whisperer). For that is a great celebration in itself as well, cos I have a long time not touched anything that doesn't have the words "marginal productivity" "Adam Smith”, "trade”, "marine technology" (here I can impress u with the many crazy technical terms we have been bombarded with (literally I tell u) but a writer must always take into serious consideration the needs of her readers.

Anyhow, till then folks, really wish you guys will write something on the blog, makes me feel as if I have been missing out on the high life of my ever glamorous and fun-loving friends who is probably painting the town red right now and not having to worry about the rain washing it all off....write write i implore of u....

Friday, November 25, 2005

running noses

How come the blog has been ever so quiet? What is everyone up to? busy busy?


dear puffy, me too have an over active nose, from the cold weather here and my sore throat. Take care ya and good luck with exams!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I. HAVE. NO. LIFE.

wow. I have never been able to be so succinct about my existence before.

First paper on Monday. And I haven't even touched it. It will be a hectic 3 days from now man.....

AND my nose has decided to start working up today, of all days. Hence I am officially sick. Nose dribbling, eyes tearing, trying my damnedest to cram info into my head.

i would love to just sleep it off. But no - i dont have the luxury of time. My best friend is now panadol cold... vitamin C tabltes, anything that can stop this misery... *sniff* *dribble*

And now back to my books... I hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I hope even more that the lights are not coming from the front of a train.... hahahahah....

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Heard from chern that he met Sha and fishy and you guys went to rouge?
nice...

and the coincidental thing is , just as fishy got pissed and puked, i did the same thing too just on last Friday.... Goodness knows how much I have drunk... I am not going to drink so much again next time... it was embarrassing puking in front of a friend who sent me home... haha but somehow don't think that ultimatum will last any longer than till the next weekend.

Wondering how things are going in Singapore? Being missing you guys...Hope everyone is well and happy...:-) keep in touch on the blog okay?

btw, chern is making a trip down in Dec...it will be nice to see him :-)
we will go down to London and then rent a car up to Dover...both of us were blown away with the pictures we saw of that place...and then it will be Christmas in London...Mighty exciting!!!

In between classes and assignments

Some nice shots outside the pub we went to last Friday

The only Dutch guy in our class...yummy huh? He's in my group for economics...;-)

This shot is taken by Sam's computer (on the right)...how cool... btw that is the classroom in the back ground

Sunday, November 13, 2005

@#$%^&*((*&^%$^&*( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It sucks when your post doesn't get published.

It sucks even worse when it's the internet's fault and you can't rant and throw flower pots at a physical thing to appease your anger (you can of course try aiming something at your computer, and hope that hitting it would appease that inner creative blogging genius that got short-changed. Then you cool down, and realize that your computer is wrecked, after which time you would probably realize that it would have been much less painful if you had just aimed a knife at your foot instead - but I digress).

So. It is too painful to re-write. There aren't anything momentuous in the entries anyway.

I wrote Quick Thoughts the night I realized that I will spend 3 weeks of my life thereafter suffering from the most lethal and crippling affliction known to the current student population, and very aptly coined, i must say (by yours truely) as the MUG MADNESS syndrome.

The symptoms are easy to recognize: my face will not be seen by my friends and family (except for those who are similarly afflicted and are similarly fighting our losing battles together in the artic environment of the law library), and those afflicted will gradually begin to look like the big cuddly black and white furry animals eating shoots and leaves in the zoo [an aside: spot the differnce btw (1) da panda eats shoots and leaves; and (2) the panda eats, shoots, and leaves. Answer: there is a spelling error in (1)!!!!!! mwahahahahahaha.. DUH. hee ;p]

... where was i... oh yea... and I am referring to the furries with the black patches round the eyes [all other furries are disqualified]. The other symptom is that they will start blogging rubbish on the web detailing all the gory instances of their pain. Of course whatever they blog will generate as much pain for the reader reading it as it had originated from the blogger.

3 weeks later, these poor afflicted souls will spend 3 hours each alternate weekday working their poor brains to the ground.

Let's observe a moment of silence for the 5 weeks of my youth that I can never hope to recover. Ever.

[moment of silence passes].

And yes, this poor afflicted soul seeks the forgiveness of all on whom the pain has rubbed off.......

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX End of Act 1, written by DRAMA MAMA

;) hee.... I'm crazy i noe...

Refer to tag board about the other 2 posts.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

A saturday night like one of those long forgotten

I'm back in school to mug on a Sat night for the first time in a long, long, time. The first time since I graduated, in fact.

It's 9.30pm, and I just got here after dinner at Ed's place. Took me an hour to get here what with the usual pleasantries and interaction after dinner, and with my mum (Ed's mum got my parents to go over for dinner) completely oblivious to my mounting anxiety to start hitting the books (she discovered the aquarium shop near the coffee shop we ate at, and she was positively gaga over the saltwater fish display - actually, so was I, but that was when I first saw it a while back)

I'm at my usual spot outside the comp lab - The air around me is as still as i remembered it, with the usual background hum (with compliments from the crickets), students mugging at nearby tables, the feeling of peace and isolation, coupled with a sense of purpose.


Talking about a sense of purpose - have wasted enough of the day... should really get started....

Thursday, November 10, 2005

hey sha

pardon my frankness, but you are writing like for a newspaper or something ( I mean the later bits)? hehe

Yea saw arrested development before, din rem much except that they film the show in a strange sorta way, with zoom-ins and what nots, kinda give me a headache watching it and reminds me a little of las vegas (anyhow I decided that LV is quite boring except one of the guy is cute...whatever his name is, love strong guys with nice sexy stubble! yummi-licious!
Anyway, who in this blog doesn't have tv? heh except poor me, with tv but stuck with crabby shows ( I mean i got nice channels like national geo, discovery, MTV, BBC and all but whenever I have the time to plonk in front of the google box, nothing captures my attention anymore... maybe it is the cycling...)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Hermit Day

I declare today 9th of Nov "Hermit Day"
It is a day which I will talk to no homo sapien on this planet earth.
Seeing that I'm not garrulous usually, I don't think it'll be too difficult a task to accomplish.
Sometimes talking such a chore, trying to get my helluva lazy mind to send electric signals to my small peachy mounth (yintaoxiao zui in mandarin, haha pls don't puke) to talk.
Anyway, I breached "hermit day " today, cos a conflict of world war III proportions happened between the other woman in the house ( my mum, haha) and me. (for all those kaypohs out there, it involves, cuttlefish, yong tao foo and brinjal, basically food. Guess women and food ain't a great combination. heh)
But don't worry everyone, everything is solved, and all conflict was resolved with a KODAK moment of us hugging each other with tears and pats and "i love U"s. (haha do puke if u feel like it. It ain't good to keep all that vomit inside ya)

And let me enlighten every one on one of the most hilarious shows to hit town: Arrested Development.
Totally Arresting!
The show centres around the bluth family, a family full of kooky characters, each with their own idiosyncracies and quirks. Only 1 son Micheal, (played by Jason Bateman, totally cute! Kawaiiii!) is sane enough to hold the family together.

The jokes fly so fast and furious, its the sitcom equivilent of prosaic, guranteed to help u fight the blues.

For those looking for eye candy, there's the delectable Portia De Rossi, last seen in Ally Mcbeal. She plays Lindsy, Micheal's twin sis, a bum who lives off the family fortune. And there's the occasion guest appearances by hollywood heavy weights like Liza Minelli, Heather Graham, Charlize Theron(yummy), Julia Louis -Dreyfuss(remember ellen from seifeld?) and the list goes on.

So try get your hands on those episodes! For those who have a tv at home, do tune in to arts central at 10 pm to catch the best half hour of your day.

i need updates!

Hey gals,

what are u all up to in Singapore? Tell me, tell me!

School just started but there are already assignments, forsee a busy busy year. Hope I can still blog often.

Btw, Puffy's :Quick Thoughts" sure were fast, I dun see nothing on the post lei. Hee.

I had a strange dream about being in Singapore where I lost a few things and were all alone without mobile phone so were uncontactable to all my friends there. I was also in a hawker center, guess I am craving cheap good food!

That's all for now, I got to get work done.

Tot ziens

Sunday, November 06, 2005

i have done something stupid.

he told me he was coming here and I panicked,
told him things that I should never have.

darn.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Today I went to the university for the first time. It is located in a very nice part of Rotterdam call the Kralingen district and I had really wished to get a place there but it was too much cost. Anyhow, I love the home that I have right now. A Dutch friend of mine who saw the photos thought I was living in that district, so I guess that's not too bad then. ;p

Saw a few of my class mates today and they were all pretty surprised that we seem to have gotten around much already. I guess this is the fruit of trying to sort things out ourselves. Actually, the university will have pretty much helped us to sort some admin stuff but we did not know about that so we tried and did things by ourselves. More complicated but much more fulfilling to try things out for yourself. For eg, people were surprised that we already got our bicycles and at a very good price. So yep I felt a little proud of my "achievements" and guess that can compensated for the long tiring walks and cycling and dealing with admin matters.

School is starting soon, next week in fact and horrors of horrors, each ride to uni takes 35 minutes. So basically each day I have slightly more than an hour cycling to do. Well but I am not complaining, my Landlord cycles to work everyday and work is at a village about 12 km away. He is already 55 , so why should a 23 year old young and healthy gal bitch about? Except the possibility of thunder thighs ...*shudders*

Enuff of my rantings, but I guess I will not have the chance to write too often when school starts. So bear with me and my verbal diarrhoea yah? heh

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Yufuyin

Yesterday we took this bus up the winding roads of Yufuyin - land of the hot springs .. It is currently autumn hence, the mountains are painted with a most wonderous red, yellow and orange. As we reached near the top of the mountain, we saw many stalls selling handicrafts. The place had this authentic feel as all the stalls were filled with beautiful decor of japanese foodstuff, jewellery, thai handicrafts, totoro and jazzy tunes.

The original place that we booked had to be substituted with another at the eleventh hour as the person had placed a wrong reservation. The change of plans took us to this family style onsen hotel where we sought shelter for the night. Had 2 tries at the onsen, as we were the only guests for that night, we could actually have private use of the onsens (which were indoors and thus felt like a bigger bathtub, only that these are filled with minerals). Had a sumptuous dinner prepared by the obasan. It was only outshone by the feast we saw on the TV when the boyband V6 toured a certain onsen hotel *bleah*

It was a sleepy town where most shops close by 7pm. Hence, the night was spent playing weiqi which I only managed to win a record 14 of the opponent's seeds.

The nest morning, we spent some time touring the remaining village and this became the highlight of the day. Passed by a shop and saw this cute kitten who came over to be stroked and cuddled by us. It was a stray who seemed to be fated with da. Hence, we actually decided to adopt it. Thereafter, we went to go cat grocery shopping and prepared for the arrival of the new member. Met Da's best friend (this Spanish guy) who became the cat's nanny for the afternoon. As the kitty is still very young.. we had to bottle feed it and start toilet training. It all felt a lot like raising a child as we went through the heating of milk, the feeding and the cuddling. Not an easy task I say. Thank goodness for the nanny!

Anyway, we haven't decided on a name for the kitty but I guess the interim name shall be Ebitda.. (haha, at first his rmmate and Spanish fren thought it's some kind of prawn ... ) What do you think ?

By the way, this is a magnified photo. In actual fact, it is only as big as a palm. Guess how small it is! Compared to the giant of a cat the neighbour has (an astounding 8kg and bigger than the dog) , I guess Ebitda might face some esteem issues but in the meanwhile, it shall enjoy our super ultra tender loving care. Welcome to the family!

*By the way, this is a sudden trip, only decide I was going 3days before the trip and got the tix 2 days before... hence, sorry for the lack of updates man...It was a lightning kinda of trip. Anyway, if you are going to Japan anytime and are not flying SIA, try not to take Thai Airways. For the same price, MAS is better.

Devils Bar

A friday night w 2 bottles of Black Label... and a Halloween night with another bottle of Black Label got me a memeber's card at Devils' bar. The good thing is, I didn't pay for the Liquor, but got a member's card, and it's my first. The bad is... I can only bring 2 guests. Haha... But i guess there's always room for negotiation when the bouncer see my clique of pretty friends! :)

Foregone hopes of a short trip

Well, it seems many exciting things are happening!!!

FNC - your places looks really spiffy man! ;p keep us updated about Holland yeah? Not sure about you, but being near old, quaint places just gives me the feeling of falling in love all over again! hahahahhaa... do they call this living vicariously through other ppl?? heh

Damselfish - yah i also didn't know about your Japan trip! hee... it must have transpired at one of those dinners I didn't manage to attend.. heh. Post photos gal!!! (IF the internet connection allows, that is... )

Fishy - tell me!!! tell meeeeeeee!!!!

Puffy - leading a not-so-exciting life. One free week before the pre-exam mugging begins, and I have no where to go. haiz. but perhaps i will take this time to organize my anime and burn them all out, watch more takuya kimura shows, and get some exercise... hehehe

























second day in my new home and I cant stop myself falling in love with this lovely little house that I will have for a year or so. My little humble abode is all in total 99 years old and this is already an immediate plus point for the lover of nostalgia, that is yours truly.

my two cents worth on love from another little country

love comes in many diff ways and often beyond our expectations. Whether it grows on u or hits u like a thunder blot, it simply is love when it makes u better, stronger, happier and more beautiful.

Its like water with no definite shape, it takes the form of the vassel that holds it. And like water, life thrives on it and cannot be without it.

Love comes from many different places and persons. Each bringing a different meaning to our lives.

Do not define it nor resist it. Enjoy the gladness in your heart when you have the fortune to recieve it and then cherish it.

Love is not a complicated feeling, the more you try to complicate it, the more u end up in knots. And then you do not recognise it no more.