Have you ever been stalked, watched or pursued relentlessly by a guy you've already rejected? Shudder nervously everytime your cellphone rings thinking that it might be him?
Fret no more!
The Creep Fixers are here!!
The following items are extremely effective in your quest to shake that creep off:
1) Fake Armpit Hair (comes in lengths of 30 cm, 2 meters and 10Metres. Currently only blond hairs are in stock, we'd be bringing in red, brown and white later on)
2)Vomit flavoured Mouthwash-human noses can detect your breath 10 meters away.
3)Long Rubber Sticks- You put this in your pants to create the illusion that you're not entirely female. (Apologies to those who take offence at our squemishness in using sexual terms. As this is a family friendly site, we try as far as possible not to lead any kids astray. )
4)Chest hair-These are authentic hairs from famous male celebrities: Brown: Jake Gyllenhaal and George Clooney. Blond: Heath Ledger. (Disclaimer: No celebrities were harmed during the process of procuring the hairs. )
5)Durian Scented Perfume: Perfume made from genuine D24 durians from Malaysia, tastes as good as it smells!
Call us!
You won't regret it!
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1 comment:
Alternative to pt 3, one can also wear a pink jacket with a strange bulge at the stomach area that could serve the trick as well... fwahahah/
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